Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Confessions of a Newbie Mother-of-Two

I just read Confessions of a Shopaholic and thought I'd share a few of my own:
  • I forget to brush Madeline's teeth. Often.
  • This weekend, I ran several errands with a washcloth visibly sticking out of my bra and v-neck shirt. I can only imagine how lopsided I looked, and how hard it was for the kid making my burrito not to look directly at my chest. When Charlie nursed earlier that morning, I realized too late that I didn't have a nursing pad on the opposite side (and when things get started, I could put out fires). In a moment of panic, Rob tossed me a dried washcloth from the previous night's round of baths, and the rest is history...
  • I skinned my finger trying to put on my pre-pregnancy jeans. They were a little tight.
  • Kiddie music -- the kind where a big group of children are singing Old MacDonald and it's supposed to be cute that some of them are off-key -- drives me crazy. I hate it. So poor Madeline is learning lyrics according to what I remember from 30 years ago since I never make it past the third song on our CDs. "There was a dog who had a....oh. A what? Hmm. There was a dog who had a bone and Bingo was his name-o." (I just googled the lyrics to see how far astray I've led Madeline and it turns out the song really goes, "There was a farmer who had a dog...") Oh well.
  • I happily ignore what every parenting book tells you to do -- to lay babies to bed drowsy but awake. I've even read not one but two detailed books about sleep, cover to cover, multiple times. Madeline went through Sleep Boot Camp when she was a year, but when they're so tiny, I can't bear to listen to them cry.
  • I forget to feed the dog when we bring home a baby. It takes me about three months to even remember to pet her. Maple survives on cat food from the neighbor's garage.
  • With a new baby in the house, dinner has been pretty simple lately. A hunk of meat off the grill and a bag of steamed veggies. Now when Madeline has tea parties, I ask her what we're eating and she often matter-of-factly tells me that we're having meat. We affectionately call her our little carnivore.
  • We've had minivan discussions, but I'm vain and shallow and I don't want one even though it makes the most sense. Check back on this in one a few years...
  • I'm a nap nazi. I never never never never never skip my childrens' naps. It's good for them, but my motivations are selfish too -- an overtired kid two-year old isn't exactly a cup of tea.
  • Wine is my friend. And since my tolerance is way down after pregnancy, I feel warm and fuzzy by my second sip (yep -- sip, not glass). Fabulous.
  • I've scrubbed my vocabulary clean (I used to love the f-bomb), but even innocent things sound bad coming from your toddler. Today Madeline repeatedly barked in her cute baby voice, "That monitor is driving me nuts."

6 comments:

The Brown Family said...

Love it!!! I am with you on every single one! I have sooooo many confessions too - but we have to forgive ourselves right?!? So hard to do it all! We forgot to brush Cassie's teeth once again tonight...

Jamie said...

OMG! How hilarious! At least I know we're all human, right? I laughed out loud multiple times... the washcloth, the kiddy songs, the meat at the tea party! It takes Kainoa's killer wake-up-from-a-long-nap breath to remind me to brush his teeth at times! :) Can't wait to hear more as time goes on!!

Chelsea said...

Oh, I love this post. It was like reading my own confession list. The other day Dayven actually told me Wyatt had "morning breath" and asked if I ever brushed the kid's teeth. Poor Finley is like a piece of furniture some days. When was the last time I fed/petted/brushed him? I too, hate mini-vans. I just can't do it. My car has a third back seat so maybe there's a way to stuff some kids back there. You could set your watch by Wyatt's naptime. (I relish the quiet to sit and read). I miss my old friend Wine, although we'll be reunited in just a few short weeks!

LOVE your whole list! Thanks for making me smile and reminding me I'm not alone in the crazy world of motherhood!

Johanna said...

I love it! SO many of these things have happened to me... and I only have ONE! I love the "i could put out fires". I have stopped up mine with socks, blankets, my own shirt, and my good old hand. :)

The Stucks said...

Great post...I can identify totally! I'm still feeling a little sad that I drive a van, though I never want to go back now (just like motherhood, so much is bittersweet but you wouldn't miss it for the world)!!!

The Kearns Family said...

Too funny, I was in tears!