Confessions of a Newbie Mother-of-Two

I just read Confessions of a Shopaholic and thought I'd share a few of my own:

• I forget to brush Madeline's teeth. Often.
  
• This weekend, I ran several errands with a washcloth visibly sticking out of my bra and v-neck shirt. I can only imagine how lopsided I looked, and how hard it was for the kid making my burrito not to look directly at my chest. When Charlie nursed earlier that morning, I realized too late that I didn't have a nursing pad on the opposite side (and when things get started, I could put out fires). In a moment of panic, Rob tossed me a dried washcloth from the previous night's round of baths, and the rest is history...
• I skinned my finger trying to put on my pre-pregnancy jeans. They were a little tight.
  
• Kiddie music -- the kind where a big group of children are singing Old MacDonald and it's supposed to be cute that some of them are off-key -- drives me crazy. I hate it. So poor Madeline is learning lyrics according to what I remember from 30 years ago since I never make it past the third song on our CDs. "There was a dog who had a....oh. A what? Hmm. There was a dog who had a bone and Bingo was his name-o." (I just googled the lyrics to see how far astray I've led Madeline and it turns out the song really goes, "There was a farmer who had a dog...") Oh well.
  
• I happily ignore what every parenting book tells you to do -- to lay babies to bed drowsy but awake. I've even read not one but two detailed books about sleep, cover to cover, multiple times. Madeline went through Sleep Boot Camp when she was a year, but when they're so tiny, I can't bear to listen to them cry.
  
• I forget to feed the dog when we bring home a baby. It takes me about three months to even remember to pet her. Maple survives on cat food from the neighbor's garage.
• With a new baby in the house, dinner has been pretty simple lately. A hunk of meat off the grill and a bag of steamed veggies. Now when Madeline has tea parties, I ask her what we're eating and she often matter-of-factly tells me that we're having meat. We affectionately call her our little carnivore.
• We've had minivan discussions, but I'm vain and shallow and I don't want one even though it makes the most sense. Check back on this in one a few years...
  
• I'm a nap nazi. I never never never never never skip my childrens' naps. It's good for them, but my motivations are selfish too -- an overtired kid two-year old isn't exactly a cup of tea.
  
• Wine is my friend. And since my tolerance is way down after pregnancy, I feel warm and fuzzy by my second sip (yep -- sip, not glass). Fabulous.
• I've scrubbed my vocabulary clean (I used to love the f-bomb), but even innocent things sound bad coming from your toddler. Today Madeline repeatedly barked in her cute baby voice, "That monitor is driving me nuts."